Sue Blaney

BIO: Sue Blaney is an award-winning author, speaker, and publisher dedicated to supporting parents in successfully raising teenagers. She is the author of Please Stop the Rollercoaster! How Parents of Teenagers Can Smooth Out the Ride, a parent discussion group program that has positively changed thousands of parents’ lives around the country since 2003. Her recent audiobook You’re Empowered! Parenting Teens with Conviction, Communication and Love won both a Mom’s Choice Awards and a Ben Franklin award. As a Certified Professional Behavior Analyst and communications expert, Sue has spent 30 years in training and publishing. She speaks regularly to parents, educators and other professionals around the country about improving communication, increasing parent involvement, dealing with parenting issues, and creating parent discussion groups to generate resources and support. Sue has been interviewed on radio and television nationally, and publishes a weekly column and podcast titled 2 Minute Tips for Parenting Teens. Sue has two children who are recent college graduates.

STORY: I think middle school can be a really confusing time for parents. It certainly was for me! I remember being puzzled and hurt as my son pushed me away, despite our close relationship. I was determined to avoid all those things teenagers are famous for… how naive of me! I now realize that our relationship changed, just as it was supposed to.

One fundamental lesson that I learned as my kids experienced middle school is that parents have a lot to learn. Parenting changes because kids are changing. Our strategies, approach and behavior must change as our teens become more independent and responsible. I also learned that I got a whole lot better as a parent by spending some time looking in the mirror.

This may sound silly, but I found middle school to be a bit intimidating in the beginning. Maybe it was because many of the kids were taller than me or because we were new in town. It could have been because distant memories of my own middle school experience were coming back to haunt and undermine me. I felt better when a school counselor validated my experience, pointing out that many parents feel this way. I found it a bit confusing when I’d hear the professionals tell me I was supposed to “stay involved” with my young teen at the very time he was demanding freedom in every way. This advice felt contradictory to what my teen seemed to need. I learned that having confidence and an open mind were the keys to my success. As a result, I set out to learn all I could about how to parent teenagers. I read books, went to all the programs offered in my community, and talked to teachers and others at the school. Most importantly, I talked with my peers in a parent discussion group.

There is no reason to expect that you will automatically know how to parent a teenager. You have a lot to stay on top of given all the changes your teen is experiencing, new opportunities offered in middle school, cultural and societal shifts, and the growing network of people with whom you and your child associate. Plan to spend some time and effort learning how you can be an effective and supportive parent to your teen.

I hope this program will help you feel informed and confident as you start on what promises to be an exciting and fulfilling journey!