Physical Development

What Parents Can Expect: On Your Mark!

As you may have noticed by the cracks in his voice or the hair on her legs, your teenager is passing through puberty and into sexual maturity. The onset of puberty varies widely, beginning roughly between 9-14 years of age for boys and 8-13 years of age for girls. While most young people have completed puberty by the time they reach their sweet 16, it can last until they are 18 or 19 years old. This means, middle schoolers who are not already showing signs of puberty will do so soon. Girls typically start puberty earlier than boys, reaching their maximum height approximately two years before boys. If you have a middle school age girl, she will probably be taller than her male classmates at some point during middle school. The rush of hormones that accompanies puberty not only affects their exterior characteristics, but also impacts their mood and the way they respond to the world around them.

What Parents Need to Know: Get Set!

Girls and boys experience huge growth spurts at different times throughout adolescence. Even though this can make you feel like your child changed overnight, their body has been preparing for these changes for many years. Teens often respond to their changing bodies with an increased need for privacy and a preoccupation with their appearance. Middle school girls will gain fat and begin developing curves. Parents can help their daughters understand that increased body fat is a normal part of maturing. On average, girls begin menstruating about two years after they develop breast buds. Providing supplies and a change of clothes for her to have on hand will help her feel prepared for menstruation when the time comes. Remember, your daughter needs you to help her understand and prepare for the many changes that take place during puberty.

Boys are different! Unlike girls who gain fat, boys gain muscle. Most boys will continue to develop muscle until they are around 20 years old. A 16 year old reflects back to middle school, “I lifted weights for football and I liked standing in front of my bedroom mirror, flexing my muscles and looking at myself. I really wouldn’t have done this in front of anyone else though!” Middle school youth are constantly engaged in comparing themselves with others, often in order to establish a sense of what is “normal”. As a result, teens can become increasingly self-conscious of their body. This may be especially difficult for boys who have not developed any muscle, as well as girls who have gained body fat that goes against the media images of how females should look. The range of “normal” is never wider than when we look at the physical development of middle schoolers.

What Parents Can Do: Go!

• Educate yourself about the changes your teen will experience.
• Pay close attention to the changes that are occurring in your teen. Sometimes they need you to help them understand what is happening.
• Model that you are comfortable with your own body. They will follow your example.
• Help your teen understand that there is a wide range of “normal”. Confirm that they will develop at their own pace.
• Give your teen accurate information about their changing body in a format that allows them to refer to it on a need-to-know basis. Reputable books on puberty, or the Puberty Chart provided as part of this unit, can be an excellent source of information. They may have real questions, or concerns that they are embarrassed to ask you.
• Establish and maintain an open conversation about their physical development. Teens will often talk to their friends when they do not feel like they can talk to you, and friends are not always the best source accurate information.
• Create space in the house that allows for their growing needs for privacy.
• Be sensitive to his or her increased feelings of self-consciousness and avoid situations that might embarrass them, or bring too much attention to how they are changing.